Just by now..
August 26th, 2008 by m4rym4rssssjust by now, I checked B’s Friendster (the guy whom I used to love…hmm Am I sure?? I dunno, I think there’s no deep feeling anymore to him. Im just curious how he’s doing now..almost 6 months, we’ve lost contact!)
Then, I showed the picture of his current girl friend to diyana (my rummate)
"Diy, Take a look at this picture!’ (pointing to the girl using "jilbab")’This is B’s girl friend!’ (I told her already everything about B)’Not pretty at all right!!" (with a jealous tone)
"what??This one?Pretty laaa!"
"Heee???No laaah,, not at all! I HATE this girl! U know what, B’s never had any feeling to her! And this girl is so aggresive that she kept pursuing for B’s love!!Actually, the one whom B loves is that girl! ‘
And I showed her a picture of B and one of his best friend, named F. They posed together like a perfect couple. And I definitely envy this girl for having B ’s love. She’s so beautiful..while Im not even qualified to be by B’s side.
But long before B can reveal his feeling to F, M came!!Without considering B’s feeling to F, M ’shot’ him! That’s what made me feel really sorry to B! B is not a type of person who can reject someone’s love. And I bet you can guess the end.
Now, they’re becoming a couple.
Seeing from the picture, I believe that F also has the same feeling with B, but because now B got girlfriend already, then F turn her love to her friend, name I.
Untill it came to my turn to enter this circumstance..3 years ago, right before I went to singapore. And we kept communicating via chatting and SMS almost everyday here.
After 2 months, got to know each other well, He ’shot’ me. I feel really weird to him, because at that time he was still with his girlfriend ( eventhough he didnt tell me directly, but I knew that from trustworthy source). And so far as I knew, he was still in love with F. Then I asked him, what’s so special about me? Im not pretty at all. But He only replied me with a smile icon that he argued Im beautiful for him. I was not sure how to respond. So, I just ignored him but we still kept communicating. And, not long after that, he broke his relationship with M! I didnt know for sure what was the reason behind it. Was it because he really loved me? He began to share his love stories, family, life, everything that dazzled all my thought about him. The most I admired about him is his great appreciation in everything I have (no matter how ugly my appearance is, how bad my behaviour is, how spoilt I am) . At that time, I felt so wonderful having his love with me. That’s when I started to love him (first crush). But, maybe it took too long time for me to realize my feeling untill I knew that it was too late to turn back the situation ..He juz restarted his new relationship again with M!
What made me so regretful is why it has to be with M again??
Up untill now, I keep holding back my feeling to him. I’ve never had any power to reveal it. Dont say to reveal it, even to sms him, I dont dare to do that!!!! What a passive and stupid girl!
What a complicated love story!
Well, Now Im here, only can ponder his situation and give him thousands of spirits through my prayers.
I broke my relation with B not because I hate him, instead, I dont want this feeling keeps spinning in my heart, and turns out to be an eternal love. Sorry ka, there’ll be a time, when we can be together again, but at that time, you’ll only be my lovely brother
Eniwei, because diyana didnt want to have a debate with me, so she closed her words with, "Ok lah, she’s neither pretty nor ugly!"
I hope that someday I can find someone who really loves me for Who I really am..